Aisle Say: Grocery Life Unplugged

Apples. Crisp, clean, shiny, juicy apples! Now, I like a little bit of chin dribble from a tastylicious apple just as much as the next guy. Red Delicious? Oh yeah. Fuji? I'm down. Then you've got Granny Smith, Jonagold, Honeycrisp and Pacific Rose yummies. But it's the ultra uber-new apple species that are creeping me out. Who wants to eat a Brown Delicious? Or an Uncle No Pants? How many lbs. of Feisty Hookers does Whole Oats Super Traders think it can sell? Am I brave enough to bite into a Bent Monkeytail? Exactly what kind of piquant flavor profile does a Five-Day Britney have? Man alive! I'm gonna buy some pears.